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Why does the grass always appear greener?

February 28th 2007 01:55
Is the grass always greener – or is it just me?
No matter which aspect of life we are talking about – work, relationships or friends – it always seems like the grass is definitely a richer hue on the other side.
I have my good days, when I am feeling on top of the world and am loving my family/friends/work situation… Then little pangs of jealousy appear - when I catch up with someone I haven’t seen for awhile or read a glossy magazine article about a person with a truly fab life. Then, I begin to wonder if maybe I haven’t tried enough? Maybe I’ve been too comfortable? Predictable? Haven’t taken enough risks? Haven’t put myself out there? Listened too much to my parents/sister?...

As much as I know that people can “word” things to make their lives sound better and leave out the bits they don’t want you to hear and as much as I know mag writers are equipped to making things sound more fabulous than they really are – I’m a journo myself, for Pete’s sake – I still can’t help myself in thinking wistfully sometimes: “If only”…
A recent example for me was catching up with a female cousin, who I used to go out with often, feuded with and have now befriended again – well, we’re acquaintances, if not super-tight friends. (Yes, we feuded over boys in our youth – I felt betrayed by her etc. It was probably almost a two-way street in hindsight, but she was a crazy party girl…)
My cousin has a crazy lust for life and always puts a positive spin on everything. Everything is fabulous, loves it, loves it, loves it etc. She always seems to have energy to party. I am the opposite – a realist/pessimist/worry-wart.
Anyways, she still catches up with the “wog crew” we used to know when we were going out. And, I can’t help feeling jealous, when I hear the gossip on who’s now doing what, that I’m not in that life anymore. That maybe I don’t have an as wide circle of friends? That maybe I don’t belong anymore where I really fit (with the hip Italian/Australian 20-somethings my age)?

I have a nice, small group of close friends, of whom I am super comfortable with and whom don’t bitch about each other by each other’s backs (much) etc etc.
And, even though, I know my cousin’s friends are much more of a false variety and she is more of a follower towards them than a leader, I can’t help feeling sometimes that I am missing out.
She is also friends with an ex-boyfriend of mine, who runs in that crew. He always appears to have a bevy of dates and mates and has that Campbelltown wog upbringing, I have always craved but never had. I guess they seem to have the good life in a nutshell and a place to fit. Me – never having gone to a Catholic girls’ school or studying commerce or living in a wog suburb – can never be truly part of that circle. (Especially since I’m no longer tight with my ex or my cuz – I’ve cut myself off so to speak.)
Then, there’s the work stuff. I recently interviewed a boutique owner – just 22, mind you – who has just opened her own hip store in a groovy part of town (with her mum’s help). Despite being so young, she had previously managed a store in the Greek Islands and worked in fashion in London and Melbourne. What a life!
Then, there was the magazine article on a girl I did work experience with at a mag who is now living like Carrie Bradshaw, of Sex and the City fame, in New York and working for a high-end fashion glossy (Teen Vogue, anyone?).
Hopefully, the next time I post a blog, I may have changed something in my life and quit the whingeing, eh…
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