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Fashion police on the bus

November 7th 2006 04:54
I can’t help from sizing up what other people are wearing on the bus. My ritual 8.35am trip into work is a running fashion commentary – at least, in my mind.

I tend to sit midway along the bus, right near the doors. This means the poor people standing up to get off at their stop are prey to my – sometimes scathing - assessment.

Every morning, it goes something like this… Nice tan leather bag with flower cut-out design, check. Too bad about the frumpy person and outfit attached to the bag... Nice white shirt. But – is your hair wet? Oh no, why did you stand up? That long, bias-cut, black skirt is atrocious. Soooo 2005… Very hip outfit, you. High-waisted skirt, check. Luxe Louis Vuitton handbag, check. Er, too bad about the big hair. What? Did your blowdryer blow up or something?…

Some bus passengers are so glamorously and well put together, however, I only envy them – and vow to “reference” some of their ensembles at a later date.

I usually admire the outfits the Asian uni students wear. They are usually at the cutting edge of fashion or are so kitsch, they are cool. With them, I spend most of the time “toning down” their outfits a little – or plain admiring their confidence. …Cool, cool outfit. Maybe the puffa vest needs a long-sleeved top underneath though? Perhaps some black footless tights with those boots? OK, you’re perfect now. I’d wear that…

Despite my running commentary, it’s not as though I don’t spend five minutes throwing my outfit together in the morning (running late as usual). Or that sometimes I’m not as creative as I imagine I am. But, it seems, I can’t help myself from performing mini makeovers in my mind. I can’t stand the thought of anyone wearing anything too real or ordinary. I have a snobbiness about a lack of glamour, I admit it.


I wish I could just leave other people’s wardrobe choices free. It is not a guilt-free thing that I do this. But human beings are naturally judgemental – no matter how hard we resist. And, I bet you would have made your own assessment about my leggings and office-wear combo today if you could…
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Comment by Adele

November 7th 2006 05:04
What do you think of my navy t-shirt and black sweatpants? If I wear my sparkly grey ballet flats, does it complete the outfit?

You think I'm joking. I'm not. But I think I look spiffy.

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